Chapter 8 Mind Games - 101
I wish to thank Art M. and Marcus for editorial assistance.
 

Saturday, April 22, 1978

Porter got up early and took the bus downtown.  He went to the car rental and found out that he only needed $100.00 deposit to rent a car.  He had $150.00 so that left him enough to have some fun.  The rates were only $10 a day and he signed up for two days.  Porter really missed driving; he got on interstate 95 and headed north to LA.

During boot camp leave Porter had plenty of time for reflecting.  The reality of his present situation hasn't really caught up with him yet.  Everything is going far better than he expected.  He soon found himself in the LA metro area.  Like many tourists, he was drawn to the Hollywood area.  He drove around Hollywood Hills until he'd gotten a pretty good look at the area.  He checked into a Howard Johnson's motel with a room on the fourth floor.  After smoking a couple of joints he let his mind wander.

'I can hardly believe I'm in Hollywood.  I hope we don't have an earthquake.' Porter thinks while looking out the window.  'If the building was about to collapse, I could probably jump and grab that palm tree on the way down.  I miss Mike and my other friends.  I wonder what they are doing right now.  If Mike could see me now he'd be ragging on me for not trying to pickup some girl on Sunset Strip.  This pot's pretty good.  I'm glad Art's my friend!  He's going to be a good friend for the next few weeks.  I wish he could come with me to sub school.  I need some music that looks like it's both a TV and a radio.'  Porter turns on the TV and switches to the radio.  He didn't have much trouble finding a station to his liking.

'The Navy really isn't so bad.  I guess my first week at NTC is kind of like going to college.  They don't care what I do on my own time as long and it doesn't interfere with my military training.  I bet Mike will get a job at General Motors when he graduates.  Graduation – I wonder if I'll ever finish High School?  I don't really need it now.  Fat chance I'll ever go to college.  I need to start working with Art.  First thing is to get some good mind blowing drugs.  Everything is so much different when you're stoned.  I can't believe how openly gay California is - men walking down and street holding hands, and checking me out.  I really don't like being looked at like that.  I guess I do look at other guys like that but at least I don't stare and make them feel uncomfortable.  I'm going to have to venture downtown by myself one of these days and check out this whole gay thing.  I would never go into that bathhouse club they have downtown.  What if someone saw me go in?  What if I run into someone I know in there?  I wonder how many gay guys there are in the Navy.  I'm not really gay I guess - I like girls well enough.  Perhaps I can find a girlfriend someplace.'

'I wonder how much more of this world I'm going to have to put up with?  One of these days I'm going to wake up and it's going to be 1963.  Now that will be something.  Then I can make my dreams come true.  It doesn't seem like anyone knows about all that like back home.  I'm SURE Mike and Nick knew about all that - I don't know how?  But somehow they did.  I'd make a great rock and roll star.  I can just see it now! I should smoke another joint.'

Porter spent the next three hours going over these same thoughts and dreaming his dreams over and over again.  He couldn't be bothered with going out to eat, so he ordered room service.  He decided that he liked exploring on his own.  He had plenty of secrets.  He wanted to get close with his new friends but he was also afraid.  He failed to realize that the path he had chosen was one of self-destruction!

Sunday, April 23, 1978

After checking out of the Motel, Porter headed south in the general direction of San Diego via main streets instead of the interstate.  'It seemed like every five miles the business all repeated themselves.  That's the tenth MacDonald's I've seen.  I should probably get something to eat.  I've never tried Jack in the Box' Porter did stop at a Jack in the Box and decided that their food was forgettable.  After lunch Porter got back on to the freeway.

It was still early when Porter got back to San Diego so he drove his rental car back to the base.  He couldn't find anyone around to party with so he drove over to Ocean Beach by himself.  After parking the rental car he headed towards the beach.

'It sure is hot today.  I wonder what it's like back in Michigan today,' Porter thought.  At this point Porter started getting a really weird feeling.  Hard to describe it really but even 25 years later it's remembered.  It was almost as if for a few minutes time had stopped and the scene forever became a part of Porter's memory...like a major change or an impending disaster.  'That was weird; I bet I'm in for some kind of change.'

Later that afternoon, after returning his rental vehicle, Porter arrived back at NTC.  After eating dinner at the chow hall, he managed to hook up with his friend, Heinz, and headed to 'the woods.'  They managed to get there without Gwinn, which surprised them.  After smoking several joints and talking about Porter's trip to Hollywood, Porter decided it was time to teach Heinz everything he knew about mind games.

"Heinz, you've been a good friend.  I don't know how much longer we'll be together but I imagine it's not more than another six or seven weeks.  I want to teach you everything I know about mind games.  It can be an effective way of controlling others or just trying to figure out whether or not they can be trusted.  The first, and most important thing to know is…never let anyone else play mind games with you.  The best defense is to never let anyone know what you are truly thinking.  This is easy to say but very hard to do.  I mean sometimes I learn more about someone from what they don't say than by what they say.

"Everyone has body language.  You might try to tell me you're in a good mood.  Yet I see you sulking through your body language.  Just by looking at you, I can tell if you are happy, mad, defensive, or a bunch of other attitudes.  So, first, and most importantly, you have to think about your body language all the time.  If you tell me you're not pissed off at me and yet you have your fists balled up, I see a contradiction.  If you can’t control your body language, the second most important rule wouldn't work, and that is…never ever let anyone know what you are really feeling or thinking.  If someone gets you really upset, don't ever let it show.  If someone can control your emotions, they have the power.  You lose control.  It's like my Dad.  I know how to push all his buttons.  I can make him mad just by looking at him the wrong way.  As a rule, when someone does something to me that makes me mad, I ask myself, do I do the same thing?  If I do, then I have no right to get mad.  I always judge my friends by how they treat me when they are mad at me.  If I get someone I thought was me friend mad and they decide not to be my friend any longer, they probably weren't my friend to begin with.  If someone starts yelling and screaming at you, just smile back at them.  Never, ever, go down to their level.  The bottom line is you have to control yourself at all times.  You understand all that, Heinz?"

"I never really though about it Porter, but I see what you're saying."

"Reading people isn't really all that hard once you work on it.  First, the more information you can get, the more you'll learn.  Keep your eyes open and you can learn all you need to know.  Watch their body language and read their eyes while they talk.  If they look away from you after you ask a question, ask more questions.  Ask questions you already know the answer to.  Remember questions that you have asked in the past.  Some people lie about little things all the time and give more than one answer to the same question.  These lies are easy to catch.  Once someone lies to you, never trust anything they say to you again."

"What do you mean, ask questions you already know the answer to, Porter?"

"For example, the other day I talked to someone that knows Gwinn, and he said that he had a bag of weed.  When we came here with him I asked him if he had any pot to share with us and he said no.  I already knew he had some.  He just didn't want to share.  It just helped to convince me that I don't need him hanging around.  I don't mind if you smoke up all my weed Heinz, just don't lie to me.  It insults my intelligence.  Life is too short to waste time with people like that."

"I follow you Porter, why spend time with people that are just pretending to be your friend."

"And operating with their own hidden agenda.  I tell you, Heinz, don't trust anyone, not even yourself.  I'm often my own worst enemy."

 

"What should I do if I catch someone in a lie?"

"Keep it to yourself until the right time.  Then you slam-dunk them.  Timing is everything.  You see it's like this Art, the reason for playing mind games it to know what kind of people you are dealing with all the time.  As we have talked before, you'll find that most people fall into categories.  Knowledge is power.  The more you know about those around you, the easier it is to make decisions.  People fall into two main categories, givers and takers.  If you give to a taker they will keep coming back just like the neighborhood cat that you feed once.  A good example of this kind of person is Gwinn.  Sometimes these types of relationships work well.  For example, Jackie O. likes to spend money and her husband has a bunch.  Rarely do you find a taker that is a good person.  Mostly like our friend Charles Green.

"One thing I really should have probably said first, it's impossible to figure out others if you don't know yourself.  This is harder than it seems as we all fool ourselves.  It's also hard to see yourself as other see you.  That's why I consider acts of other people that make me mad, and analyze whether or not I do the same thing.  Ask yourself if you are a giver or a taker.  I see you as a giver, Heinz.  I still remember you offering your help in boot camp.  None of us have the answers about everything in our lives.  I know that I'm a good leader because I have led others before.  But I can't tell you why I make a good leader, or even why me.  I have no idea how I fit or if I fit into any master plan.  That's probably enough for tonight, Art.  With any luck, you'll see some examples of what I'm talking about in the next few days and we can go over it."

"That sounds like a plan, Porter, let's get out of here."

Monday, April 24, 1978

After class, Porter, along with Sheridan, Beck, and Freeman went to Ocean Beach.  They walked up to this guy that looked like a junkie.  (Long dirty hair, dirty old clothes, and black circles under his eyes.)  "Hey guys you looking for any THC." Porter knew from experience that THC was more likely PCP.

"Only if we can try it first," Ken Beck insisted.

"No problem.  We even have a kit if you want to hype it up.  My name is Bernie.  Follow me."

The young men followed the junkie to an apartment building.  Inside was another junkie and his old lady.  The guy in the house introduced himself.  I'm Sam and this is Judy.  If you want to check this stuff out, I have a kit."

Porter didn't have any idea of what he meant by a kit.  He found out what it meant when a hypodermic needle - along with a spoon - was taken out of a drawer.  'A kit must be the tools you need to shoot drugs.'  Porter reasoned.

Beck decided to allow the guy to shoot the 'THC/PCP' in his arm.  Porter watched with fascination as the guy mixed the powder with water until it was dissolved.  Then he sucked the liquid up into the syringe.  The guy put a latex strap around Beck's arm, and he made a fist.  The guy shoved the needle into his arm.  Then the guy did something Porter didn't expect.  He pulled the plunger back on the syringe filling it with the drugs and blood.  Then he pushed the plunger in.  "Count backwards from 100."

"99, 98, 96, 92 ..Oh my god, I can't see. I'm totally wasted, buy it, buy it, buy it." Beck did recover some from the rush of the needle as he could see again, but he was still stoned.  I'll probably mention it later, but this is a good time.  In our third week of A school, Beck came down with hepatitis (in some forms deadly and incurable) from a dirty needle.  I never heard what happened to him!  Porter bought ten dollars worth, which was enough for him and Heinz to get stoned for hours.  He then headed back to NTC.

Porter found Heinz in his room and they went to Porter's room.  "This stuff will give you a different kind of buzz than pot or booze, Heinz.  What we're going to do is snort the powder through this rolled up $20 bill directly into your nose."  After dumping the powder on the desk, Porter divided it into two lines.  "This is how you do it, Heinz," Porter said while picking up the bill and snorting one of the lines, Heinz copied him.  "Lets go to chow hall, Heinz, this stuff should be hitting us about the time we get there."

"You can eat, but he can't.  He's out of uniform," the chow hall MAA said, pointing at Porter, "You don't have your tee shirt on!"

"I'll tell you what," Porter responded, "Let him in, then he can take off his tee shirt and let me put it on, then you can let me in too."  In the 20 minutes it took them to walk to the chow hall, not only was the drug taking effect, it was noticeable to anyone around that both men were stoned.

"Go ahead and go on in guys, but don't ever come to the chow hall in this condition again!"  Heinz and Porter thought the chow hall MAA was referring to their being out of uniform, but he knew that they were wasted.  They got their food and sat down.  Heinz had some small boiled potatoes.  After spending ten minutes chasing it around with his fork - unable to cut it or pick it up, Heinz decided he was no longer hungry.  Art didn't enjoy one minute of this kind of buzz.  He vowed that he would never do it again.

Tuesday, April 25, 1978

The next day, right after school, Porter went to Ocean Beach.  He found the same junkie and bought a gram of the PCP.  He paid $80 for it and knew he could divide it up into 16 dimes and double his money.  After the stories of how good the drug's affects were, Porter figured he'd have no problems moving it.  He found this to be true as everyone he asked bought some.  However, it didn't take long before Porter found out that he'd been ripped off yet again.  He hadn't tried it, as his mind still wasn't working right from using it the day before.  Before he got in trouble, Porter looked up everyone he'd sold to, and refunded their money.  He found himself broke again.  He learned another important lesson that day.  Some people you can trust with $10 but not with $80.  Bernie was one that could only be trusted so far.

Wednesday, April 26, 1978

"I tell you guys - watch out, I hate getting ripped off.  I hope that wasn't some rat poison you guys snorted."

"It's okay Porter, my nose isn't bleeding today and I feel ok, I just didn't get off," Beck replied.  Bill was surprised that he'd be the first one that wanted a second round.

"Now I'm broke, I sure could use some money."

"I heard that if you go over to the Credit Union and set up an account that they'll give you a loan."

"That sound's like a great idea, how's it work, Sheridan?"

"They set up a payroll deduction and then they give you money.  The loan is paid back automatically.  You also have a savings account.  It only takes a few minutes and you can get $200."

Right after school Porter went down to the Credit Union, along with everyone else who heard the conversation. Porter got his $200 dollars and he headed to Ocean Beach along with Heinz in a quest to find some pot to smoke and to get his money from Bernie.  After getting off the bus, Porter decided that he was tired of smoking joints and stopped in a surfing/head shop (term which at the time meant place to buy drug paraphernalia.  Reagan put them all out of business) to pick up a pipe.  "I'm sick and tired of rolling joints, Heinz.  It also seems that the wind is constantly fighting me when I try to light joint too."

Porter picked up a pipe that was fairly concealable and the young men made their way down the rocks to their party spot.  Porter managed to buy some pot along the way without getting ripped off.  After smoking enough for both men to be feeling good, Porter figured it was time for the next lesson.  "Today I though we'd talk about human nature.  As a general rule, people don't want to believe the truth.  They would rather believe a lie.  That's why when you tell someone the truth, right away they go into denial."

"When I was a kid I saw this movie about a stupid deer.  I think 'The Yearling' was the name of the movie.  Anyway, Gregory Peck had this bear hunting dog he wanted to sell.  But the dog was scared and had run away when confronting the bear.  So he decided to sell the dog.  He told the perspective buyer that the dog was no good and that it had run when confronted by a bear.  The guy didn't believe him even though he told the truth.  He ended up selling the dog for more than it was worth."

"If you tell people the truth, and if you go way overboard trying to convince them that you are telling the truth, they will never believe you.  On the other hand, if you lie to them and make it sound like a lie, they will believe it.  People question everything and, if you tell them that I heard this lie, they are bound to believe it.  And if you tell them this is the god's honest truth, they won't."

"If this strategy doesn't work for you, then you have to resort to believing your own bullshit.  This is harder and dangerous.  If you believe you're some kind of tough guy, it's easy to convince others.  That's how bullies intimidate.  When you stand up to them, you find out that they aren't as tough as they pretended to be.  It was all an act, a mind game.  The mind has power.  You have to be careful about what you think about yourself.  Once you believe some bullshit, it's hard to back away from that.  There is a flip side to this concept.  If you believe that you're no good at something, you never will be.  If you believe that you are stupid, you'll never bother to go to college and end up sitting on a beach smoking dope.  However, if you believe that you can do anything, you have a better chance than having no confidence in yourself."

"Where did you learn all this stuff, Porter?"

"My friend, Mike, back home taught me.  He spends all his time figuring people out so he could rag on them.  I picked up on lots of his tricks just by watching him.  He taught me lots of other things too.  Like how to smoke pot and get the best buzz off it.  How to keep from making a fool out of yourself when you are stoned.  I just had to put up with his ragging on me constantly.  I haven't run into anyone like him since I've been in the Navy."

"Something else that works really well for getting someone to open up is to share something personal about yourself.  This is especially useful in a bar when talking to a girl that has had a few drinks.  It has to be something very personal.  Most of the time they will tell you their life story.  This trick will sometimes work on a guy, but generally men are not going to open up that easily.  Even if they have been drinking."

 

"I'm hungry Porter, Let's get something to eat."

"How about some pizza, Heinz?"

 

"That sounds good. We can check out the pizza place near the bus stop."

The young men walked to the pizza place.  At the time there were no fast food places around the beach.  They ordered a large pizza.  After eating all of it, the men took the bus back to the base.  Porter never did see Bernie.  Porter ended up getting high with his roommates upon returning and had no problems sleeping.

Thursday, April 27, 1978

"Weight and measurement conversions are easy to remember, Heinz.  You can pass this test tomorrow.  All you have to remember are the numbers 8 and 16.  There are eight pounds in one gallon.  There are eight pints in one gallon.  My mom used to say a pint is a pound the world around.  I guess with the metric system, that's not true anymore.  Now where was I, oh yeah, there are 16 cups in a gallon and 16 tablespoons are in one cup.  So, Heinz, now many table spoons are in a gallon?"

"That would be 16 times 16."

"I think you got it!  How many pounds are in a quart."

"Let me see, there are two pints in a quart so that means that there are two pounds?"

"Very good, Heinz, I think you'll do just fine on this test tomorrow."  Every test Porter had taken up to this point in his Navy career seemed incredibly easy to him.  They were all multiple choice.  Two of the answers were always easy to spot as wrong.  This left two answers to be considered and one was usually a better answer than the other.  Scoring a 70 percent was no problem for Porter, but not everyone preformed as well on tests.  Working as a cook at Howard Johnson's hadn't really helped him much so far.  He'd learned more about food handling, sanitation, recipes, and many other things in the last two weeks then he had learned in the last two years working as a cook!

"Tell me more about mind games, Porter," Heinz requested.

"Probably the most affective way to get over on someone is to play dumb.  For example, how would I now if you really knew this information better than I do and are just playing stupid.  You could be picking my brain just to see if I know the information."

"I wouldn't do that," Heinz said slightly sarcastically.

"Wouldn't you?" Porter said extremely sarcastically.

"That's another head game, Heinz, when you think someone is pulling your leg, you call them on it sarcastically and then watch their reaction.  Mostly I learn more from what people don't say than from what they say.  If you really want to mess with someone, throw their own personality back at them.  This is hard to do but it's lots of fun.  It's great when someone gets mad at you for doing something that they themselves do.  If all else fails, do something totally outrageous - the more outrageous the better.  Saying something outrageous usually has as great an impact.  You have to be careful with this one as someone could get so mad at you that they decide to beat you up."

"Probably the most important aspect of any mind game is that the person doesn't know that you are messing with them.  If they figure out that it's a mind game, they can pull a double con, and you'll end up on the receiving end.  Mind games must be very subtle.  The best example on TV of someone who plays mind games is Colombo.  That show presents a really good example of a police officer using mind games to catch murderers.  In those shows he used many of these techniques.  My favorite was the way he dressed like a slob."

"Another technique I use, is to tell a secret to someone and ask them not to repeat it.  I either make up the secret or I tell them something that I really don't mind if it gets around.  Then I wait and see if it gets back to me.  If it does, I know that the person I told the secret to can't be trusted."

"Remember, I was telling you that people fall into two categories, givers and takers.  There are many other categories to be considered.  Another category is good people and bad people.  I define good people as those that have love in their heart and bad people as those that hate.  Can someone be hateful and still be a giver?  Just as easily as a person can love others and be a taker, some people are very complicated.  Another category is materialist and spiritualist.  I don't want to get into just what those mean just yet but I will tell you that spiritualist is not the same thing as religious.  People are greedy, selfish, tolerant, intolerant, loners, groupies, fanatics, and many possible combinations.  What freaks me out is that it seems like I keep running into the same personalities.  Once you have someone figured out, then you can decide whether or not they are all right to be around.  It's a dangerous world we live in."

"I'm sick of all this studying.  Let's take a trip downtown and look around."

"Sure Heinz, let's go."

Porter and Heinz changed clothes and a half hour later were downtown.  While walking by a jewelry store, some guy standing outside was trying to get people to come into the store.  "Let's check out his sales pitch, Porter," Heinz says.

Once they were inside each was led to a different salesman.  The sales pitch was highly structured and high pressure.  The guy started out buy telling jokes and even showing naked pictures, until they got down to business, which was to try to give you a total guilt trip about getting your mother something for Mother's day.  Financing was available and, before Porter could even consider the consequences, he'd signed up.  After he left the store he met up with Heinz, who was already waiting outside.

"You'd have to be really gullible to fall for that line of crap.  Can you imagine what kind of person would fall for that one, Porter? Talk about mind games."

"Yes," 'me'.

 

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